Do You Need To Detox Your Relationships?
GUEST POST BY REBECCA DETTMAN.
The other night I went to a BBQ filled with 40-year-old men who’d all been friends since they were about six years old. How cute is that? Most of us have people in our lives that we’ve known for a really long time. Sometimes they ‘re people who knew our parents before we were even born. Maybe you grew up with neighbours or school friends who felt like brothers or sisters. Here’s the problem: what if you’re stuck in a rut, and the people you’ve known forever are actually quite toxic? How do you get rid of nasty childhood friends?
This is a decision we are all faced with from time-to-time – whether it’s a co-worker, high school friend, boyfriend or family member, there are always people in our life that are no good for us. As women, we tend to be people-pleasers and the last thing we’d EVER fancy doing is having a conversation along the lines of, “I’ve decided not to hang out with you on weekends anymore because I can’t handle your increasingly negative opinions.” So instead, we allow things to continue on for far too long… until we feel angry at ourselves and bogged down in all the unpleasantness and stagnant energy of a dead relationship.
And just to clarify, these ‘toxic friends’ I’m referring to don’t even need to be textbook bitches; they might just be people who are unmotivated, uninspiring, love to drain your energy or discourage you, hold limiting, fear-based beliefs, or simply don’t ever push themselves to personal greatness. As I like to put it spiritually, ‘You two are operating on different vibrations!’ We’ve all met the odd person like this, but if you’re spending way too much time in this sort of company, it’s time for a little spring cleaning.
Get real: just because you have history with someone, you don’t need to keep them in your life forever. Just because someone helped you out once upon a time, you don’t necessarily owe them anything now. You should NOT feel guilty, mean, or selfish about ‘dumping’ someone. If they no longer resonate with the truth inside your heart, then the universe supports your decision to move onwards and upwards. After all, it’s not only better for you, but you need to trust that it’s ultimately best for everyone concerned.
I know you can’t necessarily go cold turkey and never speak to your next door neighbour / sister / old friend again — that might be a little drastic and unrealistic! — but you CAN limit how much you see them, and perhaps you can even challenge some of their toxic behaviours, where appropriate. The main change you can make is to add some new people into your life; surround yourself with positive, uplifting, inspirational types who are doing, living, thinking, being the type of person you would like to become.
Do you have toxic friendships that you know you would be better off without? Be honest with yourself, and keep the conversation going in the comments below
Positive affirmation for the day: I am surrounded by positive, inspiring, amazing people.
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