What To Do When You Can’t Find The Next Step

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Posted March 21, 2013

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Do you ever feel stuck? Like you don’t know what the next step is? Like you don’t know which path to take?

Perhaps you feel stuck in a situation that you completely dislike and you feel you have no options and no way out. Or maybe you know that there is something else out there for you, but you can’t seem to find the courage to make a change.
This state of suck-ness and indecision makes us feel as though we cannot move forward, but I have to ask the question – are we really ever stuck? Isn’t there always options?

You are not stuck anywhere. Every moment is fresh and new and in every moment you always have a choice.

But sometimes, we just don’t know what the ‘right’ choice is.


HOW TO FIND YOUR ‘NEXT STEP’

This is where a lot of my clients are at when I first chat to them. Feeling stuck. Lacking clarity. Not knowing what decision to make or what to do next.

I always ask them the same question.

“What is your heart telling you?”

And then they stop and look at me a little shocked. And they think for a moment and say, “I don’t know”

And I say, “On some level, I believe that you do”

And from there, is where the real work begins. The real work that needs to be done is to reconnect with that quiet, loving voice deep within you that knows the answer. It is there. But for each of you there will be varying levels of ‘stuff’ piled on top of it blocking your ability to find it.

It has probably been whispering to you for a while now, but maybe you have not been listening. It has been talking to you through your feelings, through those moments where you feel inspired, exhilarated and alive. It has been drawing your attention to things that interest you and leading you to blogs, books or activities that are right for you.

But you have not heard it.

Your work is now to listen to it, rather than question it. The path it is guiding you towards may be an unconventional one. It may challenge you and cause you to face to your fears. And so, often your head will jump in very quickly to talk you out of it, and as a result you never get to truly hear what this little voice has to say.

But it is there inside of you. Guiding you. Waiting for you to listen. On some level you already know what it is that you need to do. It is just time to acknowledge that.


HOW TO HEAR YOUR INNER GUIDANCE

Create space for your inner voice to speak

Our inner voice cannot be heard amongst the endless chatter of the mind. And you cannot possibly tune in to it while you are busily running around ticking items off your to do list. In order to hear this voice you need quietness and stillness.

Set aside some time for yourself each day to practice being still, slowing down your racing mind and sitting in quietness. It may take some time for you to relax in to this space. But as you practice you will find your self soften, open up and become still.

Become familiar with how it communicates

In this quiet and still space that you have created, take some time to journal and reflect on what you are feeling. The feelings you get from being connected to your heart and intuition are unique to everyone, so start to become familiar with what it feels like to you.

Does it feel like love, excitement, aliveness, joy, passion, or inspiration?
Do you get butterflies in your tummy? A light, open feeling in your heart? Do you feel moved to tears?

Do you hear guidance through your intuition in the form of words or pictures? Or do you just have a sense of knowing about things?

Press pause on fear

Any time heart-based ideas or inspirations come to you, allow yourself to hear them and acknowledge them without allowing fear to jump in and tear them down. Press pause on your fear temporarily. Put it to the side.

Create a fear-free zone in your meditation space and do not allow fear to stomp on your precious dreams.
This will allow your heart to speak up fully and will let you truly hear its guidance loud and clear.
Top photo credit: Davey Woodhouse

 

Positive affirmation for the day: I always have more options.



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Great post, Connie! This is such a useful and practical how-to for anyone struggling to choose love over fear. I truly think that the more we strengthen our heart, and the channels through which it speaks (in the silence, the gap, the quiet), we will choose to live far more so from here than from our fear-based ego. C xx

Thanks Connie, this could not have come at a better time for me!

Another fabulous post Connie and perfect timing. I’ve been looking for clarity on something and there’s a little gem of advice in your post that will help me – you’re so right, I do already know what to do, I’ve just got to roll with it. Love the ‘fear-free’ meditation zone concept, thank you xxx

Thanks Connie, (and universe) . this is the most perfect, timely, and beautifully written advice that i could have received today. my heartfelt grattitude to you for sharing your wisdom. now off to find my journal and a quiet corner. peace and love to you all.xxx

Great post, Connie! I would totally agree with this. Sometimes you just need to listen and stop forcing things. Meditation works wonders for me when I feel stuck. Quieting my head lets my heart speak a bit louder. As always, you are a rockstar! xo

Lovely post Connie, just when I needed to read this! Perfect synchronicity! Thank you and beautifully written xx

Great post Connie :) This is me, right now & I’ve been here for awhile. But as much as I read & learn & try to tell myself I have to stop & let go of the fear & negativity, it’s the practicalities that keep me tied here. When you have 2 kids that you want to give the world, when you have a mortgage requiring a certain income to keep the roof over their heads, how on earth are you supposed to let yourself fly & be free & happy???

A state of stuck-ness really is a state of suck-ness! Lol! Here’s a little secret though…we are never really ‘stuck’. Sometimes our lives are in a holding pattern and it’s during these times that we practice the art of stillness. Scripture says, “Be still and know…” But it doesn’t stop there. “Be still and know that I Am God.” When our eyes are focused on our circumstances we become anxious, depressed, sad eve. When our eyes are focused on the very face of God, we learn trust and rest and peace beyond anything we, in ourselves, could ever conjure. This is TRUE peace.

Great post, thanks Connie! This is exactly where i’m at at the moment. I feel completely stuck with what direction I would like to take, and its quite tiring. I feel like i’m constantly going in circles. Time to try and hear my inner voice.

Lovely post Connie! Thank you xx

Thanks Connie, this is such a timely reminder to put fear aside and tune into our hearts! Sometimes I can trick myself into taking the next step by asking, “If I wasn’t stuck, what WOULD I be doing?!” Having time, space and stillness in a fear-free zone is a vital part to hearing the answer to that. The whispering has finally become a clear, confident voice that tells me, “Bring on the website already!” x

This was wonderful. I needed a reminder to put my fear aside so that I can hear what my heart wants.

Thanks for sharing this Jess. Just what I needed to hear and in line with my latest blog : )
x x

Lovely post Connie, it’s all about space to listen in! I love that deep self awareness that we get from pausing long enough to hear. Thanks for your gorgeous insights. x